The Christmas after my partner and I lost our first son, we bought an ornament for him. A week before Thanksgiving, at nearly 21 weeks, we had found out that he had passed in utero. That Christmas we were still in the immediate throes of grief. The ornament we bought for our tree was subtle, just the shape of a heart with a picture of lentils printed on it. This was his pregnancy nickname and has since become his name. I recall that year thinking that this was how we would remember our baby.